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Her mother is against us

Hello Mr and Mrs Achoki, Happy New Year. I fell in love with a lady I work with. She loved me too and recently she told her mother that she was in a relationship. Her mother didn’t take it well, because she has always told her that she doesn’t want to hear her talk about love or even a relationship.

She has tried to convince her mum that she knows what she is doing but she advised her to wait until the right time and even convinced her to go back to college which the mother would pay for. She is joining school this month and she told me that she is considering her mum’s advice.

She has asked that we put our relationship on hold until she finishes school and if we were meant for each other, we will be together thereafter. It has now been two weeks since we last talked and things are getting hard for me; it’s hard for me to let go of my feelings for her. Please advise me.

Our Take

Happy new year to you too. Love is a beautiful thing, yet it can also be confusing. You don’t mention how old you or your girlfriend are, but from what you say, it seems she’s still young, under the authority of her mum. The big question here is whether she’s going back to school because she really wants to or because of her mum.

If she is going because she really wants to then that is good for her and you need to understand that it is important to her and respect her decision. You will then need to discuss how you will continue your relationship while she is studying.

You might need to give her space to accomplish her studies and if she is meant to be yours, she will still be there for you. They say if it was meant to be, it will come back to you. In the meanwhile, find something to do yourself and busy yourself with school, work or your hobbies.

Time flies and if you are both in agreement and truly love each other, it will only be a matter of time before you are together again. This time better for each other, and more mature; ready for a long term relationship. After all, they say true love waits.

On the other hand, if she is going back to school because of her mum and to get away from you, it’s a different story. She may be doing it because she is still under her mother’s care so she doesn’t want to jeopardise their relationship.

If you were ready to take care of her then that would be a different matter. You see her mother, having lived longer than you and with more experience in life, probably doesn’t want her daughter to make some of the mistakes she made or has seen other women make.

She is concerned about her daughter’s future, thus her advice that she go back to school. It is good that the lady has asked you to put the relationship on hold for a reason.

It’s not that she doesn’t love you anymore, so you can hang on to that hope. It will be hard initially to keep away, but with time you will learn to manage your feelings as you wait for her to finish school.

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