Folks, this is a tumultuous time for the men in uniform, especially those who go for training in the lush, green, hilly sides of Nyeri at a place called Kiganjo. Hundreds of them have been facing a panel of stern-faced men, going by the name of the National Police Service Commission, who have asked them personal questions, some of which have elicited witty, embarrassing, even hilarious responses. It has transpired that cops tend to have short memories, which is an unlikely scenario, given their training.
Some cop will transact Mpesa deals by the dozen daily, worth millions, claim the funds are for a merry-go-round but can’t seem to remember four members of the group? That’s funny, downright funny! Anyway, that is a story for another day, but you get the drift: they are among the most talented entrepreneurs on the globe.
Pity we have not picked a trick or two from them, and made Kenya a land of instant millionaires. I would really love that, to have a few million bucks to my name. But back to cops. You must have heard about those two who this past week were unable to arrest a drunken bloke. Yes, you heard right.
Tadu Hussein Dawe was in the dock for assaulting two cops, resisting arrest and being drunk and disorderly. The two cops, whose names I withhold for fear of embarrassing them further, must have skipped some of their lessons out there at Kiganjo. Unless this Tadu Dawe bloke is a commando trained at the Sandhurst Military School in the UK, please help me understand how a drunk guy can resist arrest and even assault two cops.
If you ask me, that is one guy whose skills may come in handy in sessions where our cops are trained in physical combat. Or did he have, in his possession, some explosive, which he threatened the cops with? If not, how would two cops be unable to subdue a single bloke, a drunk one at that?
I must visit Marsabit, where all this happened. Still on uniformed guys, there is this army chap who deserted the force a dozen years ago. I mean he woke up one day and just vanished into thin air. Or is it thick air, now that a grown man can be invisible in it?
Well, it turns out he didn’t quite vanish, like his seniors thought. Maybe he foresaw that the spirit of devolution was nigh, and thought to devolve training of cattle rustlers on gun use, away from the pesky military.
Luckily, the long arm of the law, which is even longer in the military, caught up with him and he was returned to face his seniors and former colleagues at Lanet Army Barracks. Folks, 12 years is a long time to be on the run and unless you are one David Rudisha, or even Usain Bolt, one never really goes far, unless they are masters of disguise like the legendary Carlos the Jackal.
But the point we are making is that our intelligence service has lots to do, monitoring guys who leave the disciplined forces, especially in circumstances that do not exactly connote discipline. Like those who are sacked for gross misconduct, deserters and those summarily dismissed for serious crimes.
What precisely do such blokes do for a living? Does anyone care? A guy trained in physical combat, firearms use, enemy penetration, explosives and even, to some extent, flying aircraft is a powder keg if let loose. Who monitors them, especially after they serve time? As for the APs, lets discuss them next time. They are in a class of their own…and in many ways. The writer is Assignments Editor, People Daily.